


Thrilling Heroics

by Ultra



Series: Lost in Space [11]
Category: Firefly
Genre: BAMF River, F/M, Girl Saves Boy, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Love Confessions, Major Character Injury, Misunderstandings, POV Jayne Cobb, Post-Serenity (2005)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-02
Updated: 2010-10-02
Packaged: 2020-03-01 01:50:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18790591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultra/pseuds/Ultra
Summary: When things go awry on the latest job, Jayne knows he's in trouble, unless River chooses to help him.





	1. Thrilling Heroics

**Author's Note:**

> originally written for Girl Saves Boy 2010 on Livejournal.

It ought to have been an easy job. Get in, get out, no fuss made. Course the fact this whole thing was one of the Captain’s plans shoulda proved it weren’t ever gonna be that simple. Jayne was known for bein’ dumb though and went along with Mal’s schemes time after time, in spite of the fact these things almost always went south.

This time he weren’t alone on his mission. Not that he’d thought Crazy’d be much use to him in a case like this, never really thought he’d need her at all. Sure’n she was capable enough of havin’ his back and that was no bad thing, but up to now he’d been wonderin’ if he really wanted her behind him where he couldn’t see what she was doin’.

Jayne’d given River all manner o’ reasons not to trust him over the years, and when he went down with a wound he couldn’t much think he was gonna survive, he wouldn’ta blamed her none if she done turned tail and run to save her own pretty skin.

Girlfolk weren’t to be trusted, that he learned plenty times over, and when it came to fightin’ and such, weren’t many women Jayne’d think to be capable of doin’ what needed to be done. Even Zoe weren’t so very much use these days, losin’ a little of her hard exterior in a flash when the baby’d come. Jayne didn’t blame her none, kid already had to make it through his time in the ‘verse without a pa to look to, couldn’t have his mother gettin’ shot up and not comin’ home any time soon.

All these thoughts got kinda blurry and mixed up after a while when Jayne realised he was wearin’ a whole lotta his insides on the outside. Only thing he was real sure of was that he was movin’. Couldn’t think it was under his own steam given how fuzzy the world was, how heavy as lead he felt from head to toes, but he weren’t bein’ still that was for sure.

Somewhere in the distance someone was talking, one voice singin’ out so sweet... Hell, he had an idea it might even be the angels callin’ him to the gates, ‘ceptin he was pretty sure he wouldn’t be headed that way even if his time was up.

Not long after, even that faded out to nothin’ and blackness proved he was on the way out of the world he knew, if’n only for a little while. Right now, Jayne Cobb weren’t so very certain this was a brief trip into the darkness or the end, but there was not a gorram thing he could do about it.

* * *

Jayne weren’t so sure when he tried to open his eyes if’n he was gonna find a world he knew or somethin’ a whole lot worse. His limbs were weighed down, sinking like he was in a great vat of molasses, fit to be drowned unless he tried hard to hold on, find his way outta the dark. Light existed but just a little tiny bit, like a lightning bug flying around trying to get his attention. Jayne did his darnedest to focus and eventually the black faded into blue and grey, the familiar smell of the sterile and uninviting infirmary.

'Twas a miracle to the merc just to know he was still livin’. How he got back here he hadn’t a gorram clue, but here he was and livin' and breathin’, for now at least. 'Course, he expected it’d be the doc hovering around his bed right now, but that weren’t the case.

“That you girly?” he asked, voice hoarse and even rougher than usual in the quiet.

Dumbest question he ever asked, since he knew it was her. Only one on this ship looked like that, all young and pretty like a girl should be, but at the same time so obviously battle scarred, inside and out.

“She is here,” said River softly, not seeming to move a muscle as she answered him, just staying where she was right at the foot of the bed, starin’ straight and true as she did when she was piloting the ship.

The blue-grey dress she’d been wearin’ when they headed out on their job was now a mass of brown and red, soaked through with blood Jayne hoped weren’t hers and yet hated knowing was most like to be his own.

“Thought for sure I was dead,” he said, trying to clear his throat so he could speak some more, but the rest of what he was going to say died on his tongue the minute his brain caught up to him.

Where they was, out in the desert, just the two of ‘em, weren’t no way Jayne’d up and walked his ownself back here the state he was in. Wound he had he oughta be as dead as he figured he had been. Weren’t no time for the moonbrain to get back to the ship and fetch him no help, he knew that. Girl had a morbid and creepifyin’ habit o’ tellin’ him how long he may or may not live with holes blown in him. Didn’t bother Jayne none but he got to learn as much from her as from experience what he was gonna survive easy and what he wouldn’t.

Fact he’d got back here and was still in the land of the livin’ told Jayne some kinda miracle had happened, if’n he believed in such a thing. Only proper explanation he could come up with seemed more than a little nuts, that was for gorram sure.

“You?” he said, staring down at River once again. “You carry me back here?” he asked, sure’n she’d laugh at such a dumb suggestion, maybe think he was crazy as they all knew she was, but River didn’t laugh, didn’t even react at all at first.

“Definition of carry; to take or support from one place to another; to transport or convey,” she reeled off like a gorram dictionary, like he oughta known she would. “His assessment is true,” she agreed as her eyes came to meet his, a smile almost playing at her lips as she went on. “More accurate phrase might be she dragged him home, at least the last fifty four point two six metres,” she told him quite seriously.

Jayne didn’t know how to take it, not the way she said it nor what it meant. She put her ownself in danger helpin’ to save his worthless hide. Would he o’ done the same for her? These days, he surely would, though he never once said it. Never reckoned on her feelin’ the same, thinkin’ he was worth the risk and all.

“Shoulda saved your ownselfm” he told her, breaking to cough afore he could say more. “No use in worryin’ over an old hwun-dahn like me.”

“No.” She shook her head at that, as definite as ever he saw her, face set in that look she got when she knew she was gorram right and weren’t nobody, not even her brother, gonna change it around. “Had to save him, had to,” she said with a nod of her head to make it clearer to him. “Saving him was saving herself. She fears to be one without the other, fears she will not be one and whole again,” she explained, albeit in such a ways as Jayne was more lost then when she begun.

“These drugs your gorram brother pumped into me ain’t makin’ you sound no less crazy, ya moon-brained little worman,” he said simply, hopin’ against hope she’d speak just as plain as he needed her to.

“She understands, simple terms at such times,” she agreed, moving on light ballet points that always suited her, even now in her blood-soaked dress, all tired and worn by the days events. “She feels warmth of emotion when she is here with him,” she said with a feint smile as she gazed down at him. “Man called Jayne inspires the girl to be woman, to be all he would want. Plain, simple words,” she reminded herself then, her eyes closed a moment before she opened ‘em up again and stared deep into his own. “She loves him.”

Had Jayne not already been lying on his back, them words was fit to put him there with shock. Never thought about the girl feelin’ anythin’ for him as such. Sure’n she was built in such a way that a man was gonna notice, and as she got older and stronger and all, well, he had one or two fantasies hidden away in the back of his brain where he hoped she never saw. Hell, he figured she’d run him through with that butcher’s knife she once took to his chest she ever knew how he’d dreamt o’ her more’n a few times. Still, from her side, he got nothin’.

Couple of times he thought she was tryin’ to be flirty and such, but love? She loved him? Certainly proved she felt somethin’, risking herself the way she had to get him back here afore the worse happened, but it didn’t make no sense, not any of it, not least ‘cause Jayne was so pumped full of drugs he daren’t even think much on this bein’ real.

“I didn’t ever...” he started to say, but already the thick black molasses that had tried to hold him before was creeping back up, sucking down one limb at a time, pulling him into the deep dark.

“Ssh,” he heard River say, felt her hair brush his cheek as she leant over him, though he struggled to see her anymore. “Be okay,” she promised, even as a dampness hit against his face like the lightest rain. “Good bye, Man Called Jayne.”

Her whispered words were honey sweet and feather light and he wanted to hang on to ‘em, stay right here and cling on, but it weren’t working no more. Jayne really didn’t wanna close his eyes but it was like he had no choice in it. Somethin’ took him over, dragged him down so deep he started to wonder if this time he really was gonna be gone for good.

* * *

Come as a shock to Jayne Cobb when he could manage to look at the world the next time. Coulda been a few minutes or a couple o’ days since the last, he really couldn’t be sure. What he did know was that River weren’t stood there no more, but just the same, he weren’t alone.

“Mal?” his voice was rougher than usual as he spoke to the Captain stood at the foot of the bed where the girl had been before. “What did...?”

“’S alright, Jayne,” the other man told him, though no smile graced his lips and his eyes was cold as steel. “Doc’s got everythin’ under control, you ain’t goin’ no place,” he assured him, though there weren’t nothin’ comfortin’ about the way he was looking right through the injured merc.

“How long was I out?” he asked curiously, wonderin’ on River - had she just left or been gone a long time?

“Nigh on a day now since you got that hole blown in ya” Mal told him, clearing his throat before he went on. “You know exactly what happened out there?” he asked, leaning over on the edge of the bed, waitin’ for an answer Jayne couldn’t rightly give.

“Know the girl gorram saved my life, Mal,” he said, finding it all kinds o’ strange to admit. “Where’s she at now anyhow?” he asked then, wonderin’ on why the Captain couldn’t meet his eyes no more. “I asked ya where River was?” he tried again when Mal turned away running a hand over his face.

“She’s gone, Jayne,” he said at last, turning to face him again. “Got you back here and... and collapsed her ownself. Weren’t nothin’ left we could do for her...” he trailed off, swallowing a lump in his throat he weren’t so used to findin’ there.

Weren’t so many folk he could find to cry over, hardened as he had been by war and all, knowing the way the world worked and making his peace with it. This was different and he knew even Jayne, tough and unfeelin’ as he was, was gonna find it tough to take.

“What ...?” he said, his expression twisting through one emotion after the other, all based in the pain family and laced with confusion that was real as anythin’ ever had been. “But I don’t...”

“Ain’t your fault, Jayne,” Mal told him sharply, not ‘cause he was mad at the merc, after all he meant what he said ‘bout the guy not needin’ to feel no guilt, even though he was pretty sure he would anyhow, he never asked to be saved nor for her that saved him to kill herself tryin’.

Jayne couldn’t say a word. He wanted to, had a whole heap o’ things he didn’t understand and hoped Mal might explain. At the same time, he knew the Cap’n’d have no more clue than he did ‘bout what he musta dreamt ‘tween bein’ shot up and wakin’ up here.

Strangest part was, he didn’t believe it was nothin’ he made up in his head. River had been here, real or ghost or whatever, she was right there with him, and she’d said what she said and meant every word.

For the first time in a long time, Jayne Cobb shed a tear.


	2. Alternate Ending

Come as a shock to Jayne Cobb when he could manage to look at the world the next time. Coulda been a few minutes or a couple o’ days since the last time, he really couldn’t be sure. What he did know was that River weren’t stood there no more, but just the same he weren’t alone.

“Mal?” his voice was even rougher than usual as he spoke to the Captain stood at the foot of the bed where the girl had been before. “What did...?”

“’S alright, Jayne,” the other man told him, though no smile graced his lips and his eyes was cold as steel. “Doc’s got everythin’ under control, you ain’t goin’ no place definite yet,” he assured him, though there weren’t nothin’ comfortin’ about the way he was looking right through the injured merc.

“How long was I out?” he asked curiously, wonderin’ on River - had she just left or been gone a long time?

“Nigh on a day now since you got that hole blown in ya,” Mal told him, clearing his throat before he went on. “You know exactly what happened out there?” he asked, leaning over on the edge of the bed, waitin’ for an answer Jayne couldn’t rightly give.

“Know the girl gorram saved my life, Mal,” he said, finding it all kinds o’ strange to admit. “Where’s she at now anyhow?” he asked then, wonderin’ on why the Captain couldn’t meet his eyes no more. “I asked ya where River was?” he tried again when Mal turned away running a hand over his face.

“She’s gone, Jayne,” he said at last. “Gone to hide herself away in her bunk, no doubt sobbin’ her gorram heart out over you,” he said, glancing back at him now with a very serious look still. “Y’know, I seen the little woman take on men and Reavers both. Got stuck with knives and bullets and hardly flinch at all, but sight o’ you so messed up...” He shook his head. “Damn near broke the girl’s heart.”

Jayne didn’t know how to take bein’ told such a thing. Never did occur to him much that River cared anythin’ for him, least not 'til she was here before sayin’ words the like o’ which he never hard from a woman he weren’t payin’. Them was fake sentiments and such, he knew it, but from her they’d seemed real enough. Sure’n he coulda blamed the drugs, the loss of blood, a hundred other things, but now here was Mal tellin’ him even he thought the crazy little moonbrain had these feelins for him. Jayne was, not unusually, confused.

“I swear to God, Mal, I didn’t know,” he told the Captain, all full of truthfulness. “Never even... I know she don’t hate me nor nothin’, not no more, though I gave her reason enough.”

“Seems she’s been gettin’ a soft spot for you a while now, though why in the ‘verse she should, ain’t sure my ownself,” he said, maybe jokin’ but the merc couldn’t know for sure right now. “My point is this, you get up on your feet again and you gonna find yourself in close quarters with my little albatross, and you gotta take a care with her,” he said seriously “She’s grown enough, and I ain’t her pa no matter what she calls me, I ain’t got no place gettin’ in the middle of whatever the hell might be goin’ on with the two o’ you, but you better start on treatin’ her better, Jayne, after what she done risked for you.”

Jayne heard the words, every single one, though they weren’t altogether making sense in his head. Him and River, it was as crazy an idea as he ever heard the whole course of his life, and yet somehow in his drug-addled mind it made a kinda sense. Whether it would later when the holes shot in him was mended and he felt a better kind of sober and all was anybody’s guess. One thing was for gorram sure, Mal had a point about him bein’ nicer to the girl, grateful for what she done to save him.

“Gonna tell her good and all I ‘preciate what she done for me,” he swore solemnly, as Mal nodded once and turned to go with muttered words about Jayne needin’ more rest right now.

Hidden away in the corner of the stairs beyond the infirmary door, River watched her Captain Daddy stride away. Her heart and mind reached out beyond the wall and she was met with a warmth meant just for her, radiating from the wounded body of her own fallen soldier.

All would be right with the world very soon, she knew it for sure, and for the first time in a long time River Tam found a genuine smile on her lips that was unlikely to move for a good long while.


End file.
